Wednesday, December 31, 2014

I Lived

It's that time of year, that time when everyone calculates up all the things they've done this year and posits what they will do next year.

I have accomplished jack shit this year. 

Although, I have picked up a lot of Jack shit.

I've had crappy year, thanks to my Crohn's disease (pun intended).  People ask me what I've done, why I haven't shown my horses, and I just laugh. Many days I'm doing good just to get off the couch, consistent riding just isn't in the cards.

"What are you doing with that big red horse you've got?"

I'm teaching him to drink out of a wine glass. It's an important skill. 
I learned he really likes mimosas.

"Well, what about that nice bay you were showing 3rd Level?"

He learned to play polo. 

Way easier than 3rd Level.

"Tsk. What about that fancy hunter pony you bought?"

He's toting my kids around. That's what I bought him for. 
Shorts and boots, the official uniform of backyard riders.

My goals disappeared the day I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. It's not that I "gave up" or "resigned myself to my fate". I fought long and hard against this bullshit disease. I fought against the constant fatigue, the arthritis, the never-ending trips to the bathroom, the degeneration of my spine, the side effects from the medications for the disease and the medications for the damn side effects.

 I fought and I fought and I fought, and then one day I woke up and realized that this was forever. There is no cure, and even the treatment sucks. And there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. It sounds defeatist, but it's actually a relief. Now that I'm not fighting an impossible fight, I can just get on with my life.

So, these are my goals for the New Year: I will drink too much, laugh too loud, live my life and I will just enjoy my horses. All the rest will fall into place.

Instead of fixing the barn clock, I painted this quote on it.



  1. I think you have the right idea, to roll with the punches. I have a close friend with Crohns and she has had some easier years and some challenging years with it. Wishing you a "less crappy" 2015 :)

    I love the barn clock :)

  2. I gave up riding after the broken least for the time being. Hoping to get back into shape and rebuild all the old muscles. There is just no point in fighting the impossible. What we need to do is learn to live with our ailments and adjust our dreams to suit.

    So, for me, it's just enjoying the horses with no ambition but to enjoy the horses. I'm right with you on that. Do what you can, when you can and don't feel guilty when you don't want to do anything at all.

    You've earned it.

  3. Raising a glass to your brilliant attitude + high-fiving your sense of humor!

    Horses have little on the agenda besides eating and pooping, so yours will be good with whatever you feel up to accomplishing. Hoping the health issues are less overwhelming in 2015. (((hugs)))

  4. I'll drink to that! (she says, lifting a glass of wine in toast to you)

  5. Get on with it and enjoy yourself! Best to you and yours in 2015!

  6. Crappy bullshit're so punny. Way to take control back and find modified joys.

  7. I don't think you set the bar low; laughing too hard and just enjoying things are pretty difficult. I forget to just stop and enjoying things sometimes... Sounds like good resolutions to me! And PS, my horse likes mike's lemonade ;)

  8. "Shorts and boots: the official uniform. . ." tee hee hee. :)

  9. Sorry about the Crohn's. I don't know a whole lot about it and had no idea it could be so bad! I always thought I had IBS, but found out this year I have Celiac. Going gluten free has made me feel like a brand new person. I know going gluten free isn't proven to help Crohn's, but during my research I found this article. Since I don't have Crohn's I didn't do a lot of research into the subject so I don't really know how true it is, but in case it's helpful I thought I would share. Anyway I hope you get some respite from the disease and have a great 2015!

  10. love your perspective in this post. cheers to that and wishing you a happier and less stressful 2015!


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