Wednesday, October 22, 2014

My Anaconda Don't Want None Unless You Got Buns, Hon

"You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt"

It's Twopointober (I think that's how you spell it), hosted by L. Williams at Viva Carlos and Hillary at Equestrian At Hart. I'd love to link their blogs, but I'm still on my phone and too inept to link. Anyway, the point of Twopointober is to track your ability to stay in two point over the course of the month. 

A lot of dressage riders don't use two point, or think they can't or shouldn't use it. I think it's quite under-utilized myself. I two point when I let my horse stretch during and after the ride. I also use two point on young horses when they're just starting to canter under saddle, as I find it helps them find their balance more easily. 

That being said, I don't ride in two point for long stretches of time. I use it for a minute or so at a time just to get out of my horse's way while he's stretching or relaxing or finding his balance. I found the idea of seeing how long you can stay in two point rather intriguing. 

So, I decided to try it out, to see exactly how long I could go in two point. Unfortunately, I didn't have my phone on me at the time and I don't wear a watch. But, I did have the radio on! So, I decided that I would two point through the next song that came on the radio. I figured that was a realistic goal, a song is usually only a couple minutes long....

The next song that came on was that awful new Nicki Minaj song "Anaconda", but, considering the subject matter of the song and video, I found it hilariously appropriate. I already had Spider in a long and low canter to loosen him up after our ride, so I popped up into two point and twerked my way around the ring. 

Turns out, that awful Nicki Minaj song is really, really long. About halfway through my thighs were burning and I was fervently wishing for Nicki to just shut up. Never have I been so glad for a song to end. Afterwards, I looked it up and the song is 4:13. Not bad for a dressage rider, I think. 

The next week I tried again, but this time I had my phone on me. I set the timer and off we went. Except, this time, Spider broke from canter and I couldn't get him started again in two point. (I'm a dressage rider, we use our butts for a lot of the cues) So, I had to ride in two point at trot, which is much harder than two point at canter. I made it 3:19 before collapsing back into the saddle. 

I was annoyed at my backward progress, so I resolved to fix it. I added some more squats to my off-horse workout routine. I started doing some more conditioning work in the saddle. Dressage focuses heavily on transitions, which is great for building strength and agility, but not so much for building stamina. So, I focused a bit more on trotting and cantering for extended periods of time. I also worked on keeping Spider going and transitioning between trot and canter while I was in two point. By the time the next week rolled around, I was ready to try again. 

And I had forgotten my phone, so I had to rely on the radio again. The next song to come up was Lorde's "Team" (I had to look it up based on the chorus, I didn't know what the hell it was.) I barely made it through that song, but then the next song was Meghan Trainor's "All about That Base". I friggen' love that song! 

I proceeded to shake it, shake it, like I'm supposed to do. Spider and I went around with renewed vigor, even transitioning between trot and canter and throwing a few flying changes in while we shook it. Between Lorde (3:13) and Meghan Trainor (3:08), I managed to stay in two point for a grand total of 6 minutes and 21 seconds. Hot damn! That ain't bad!


  1. Wow that's impressive!! I still can't hold my two point while moving lol. Horrible balance! This is the first time I've ever used two point though so I'm trying to go easy on myself. I have to agree with you that Anaconda is a horrible song and I have no idea what Team is... but I have to disagree on the "All About That Bass" song! I hate it! I change the radio when it comes on. I have no idea why, but I find it horribly annoying. Congrats on making it six minutes! I really need to practice some more. I've been so busy doing other stuff with Chrome that I haven't been practicing my two point like I should. Oops.

  2. haha that's awesome, well done!

  3. Used to ride in two point "forever." Used it for eventing cross country, although my balance was back over my horse's center of gravity and kind of low. Don't know how I'd do today. With my replaced knees and pinned hip? Of course I think I was in two point when I tried to ride the last time. Sitting hurt my joints too much. *lol*

    Good for you to attempt the challenge. It will do wonders for your seat and overall balance.

  4. Holy crap 6 minutes...I would die. I just made it to 2 minutes...and that was a stretch. It would appear my two point is a weak area!

  5. You did way better than me, and I'm a hunter/jumper!!

  6. So glad you brought up two point. I'd never ridden in two point until I rode in the Arthur Kottas clinic last May. He had all riders riding in two point at some point in their lessons - and this is a legend of classical dressage! I loved it and it is one of the best things I've ever done for my riding.
    I'm sooo impressed that you made it for six minutes!

  7. Hey your blog is Haynet's Blog of the Day today! Come and take a look:


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