Tuesday, September 30, 2014

I Have Internet Again!

Hooray!

I have no idea if it's actually fixed or not. I've been calling and complaining for weeks, and Verizon's only response has been, "Umm...... yeah... we're totally fixing that..."(I paraphrased, but that's the gist of what they told me)



Today, Verizon called me up and, I kid you not, a customer service representative said, "So, your internet works now, right? Because our computer says it works".  (That's a direct quote)

Yes, it works.  We'll see how long it lasts.

Moral of the story: If you can avoid it, don't use Verizon as your internet provider. Sadly, I cannot avoid it, because I live in Podunk.

Anyway, now that I have internet again I can write nicely formatted posts with pictures that didn't come from my phone and links and labels!  How exciting!

I also updated my "Cast and Crew" page because it was terribly out of date, and I have to go back and add labels to the posts I wrote on my phone. (And possibly re-format them because that stuff drives me a little nuts).






Sunday, September 28, 2014

Confessions Of The Worst Dressage Queen Ever



I view bridles as straps of leather on which to hang a bit. I'm not impressed by the latest noseband technology or ear cutouts. And I have zero interest in sparkly bling-bling brow bands.

I never clip my horses. Ever. I don't even clip their fetlocks and whiskers for shows. I have never been marked down in a dressage test for having an unclipped horse. I figure if you've gotten close enough to the judge for her to see your horse's whiskers, you've gone off course. 

I ride in jeans. A lot. It doesn't make me ride any worse, nor does it mark up my saddle. It's a lot easier to get things done around here without a wardrobe change for every activity. 

My horses live outside 24/7. I don't blanket them unless it's below 35 and actively raining or snowing. Horses come from the factory with their very own built-in blanket and, judging from the way they destroy and find ways to wiggle out of the blankets I buy them, I get the impression they're not too keen on the after-market additions. 

I rarely bathe my horses, although I will hose them off if it's hot. I haven't used soap to bathe any of them at all since sometime last year, probably the last time Spider went to a show. They all have beautiful, shiny dappled coats despite my "neglect". 

I don't pull manes, ever. You can't tell me it doesn't hurt the horses. I've been waxed, it hurts! And just because your horse doesn't react, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.... I don't deck the lady that waxes me, but that doesn't mean I'm having fun. I cut their manes instead. You can't tell if it's pulled or cut once it's braided, anyway.  

I know I'm not alone, here.... Share with the class: What are your Bad Dressage Queen/Hunter Princess/Eventer Confessions?

I'd make it a Blog Hop, but I'm still posting from my phone like a caveman with a phone but no internet. 








Wednesday, September 24, 2014

I Have No Internet.

I have no internet.
That really sucks. 

I was going to make a haiku about it,
But then I realized I'm not very good at haikus and should probably just post something from my phone. 

Here's a recent picture:


*Note to self: Don't try to take selfies around Jack and Spots. They will totally photobomb*

Hopefully we will have internet soon. Verizon has 24 hours to fix this or I'm bailing on them. It's been over a week, and they claim it's an outage. Pbththththtb. 

(I just found out that my phone autocompletes "pbththththtb". Heh. That's kind of cool!)



Monday, September 8, 2014

I'm Seriously Considering Taking Jumping Lessons

I'm in a rut. I'm bored. I shouldn't be. I've got three great horses at completely different places in their training and I really should be very interesting.  But it's not. I'm just not feeling it. 



I think I need to shake things up. 

Perhaps I'm having a mid-(horse)-life crisis. I've been riding horses for as long I can remember. I grew up riding Western, then discovered dressage as a teenager. I've been riding dressage ever since. 

In short, I'm stagnating. It's about time I learned something new.  

Well, actually, I haven't always stuck to just dressage. There was that one time in college that I briefly worked for an Olympic Eventer. After a couple of sessions over fences, I was told that I should probably just stay with dressage. 

I'm a chicken over jumps, and generally refuse to jump anything higher than my own knees. I also need at least one beer to be anything close to enthusiastic about any jump at any height. Which is why I think I really should take more lessons. 

So, I'm going to find somebody to teach me how to jump. I haven't got a damned clue how to jump, my "jumping form" involves standing up in my stirrups as much as you can in a dressage saddle and grabbing the mane. But I think it's a good skill to have and I think it will wake me up and get me excited about riding again, even if that excitement is just realizing that I should stick with dressage!

As I was writing this/having my midlife crisis, I was also talking to some of my friends about my new training goal of jumping. They unilaterally pointed out that I've got a really bad back and jumping probably isn't the best new thing for me to learn. 

I say, "poo-poo" to those nay-sayers. I'm only going to do very small jumps, because I'm a big chicken, and I fail to see how small jumps are any different from riding sitting trot extensions or re-training baby OTTBs. I think it's a good discipline to learn, and an intellectual departure from what I have been doing. 

In short, I say "Pbthththththb!" to them. And now I need to find a jumper trainer!

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Apparently, NJ Doesn't Understand How Seasons Work

September has been oppressively hot, and I have done nothing with my horses. Well, I look at them and pet them and think, "Tomorrow I will work you lazy lumps", but then tomorrow comes and it's gross and I sit in the kiddie pool instead. 

I had high hopes for September. My oldest went back to school, which means I no longer have to spend my day breaking up fights between her and her younger brother. Never let anyone tell you that you should have more than one child so that they'll "have a playmate and entertain each other". My children fight like cats and dogs if they have to spend more than an hour together. I have to put them on different floors of the house or in separate parts of the yard to keep the peace, and they still interrupt me every few minutes with, "He looked over here!" "She's on my side!" He threw a toy at me!" and then the inevitable chorus of "I'm bored!!!!!"

But, I digress... I was whining about the heat. It's hot. And gross. Usually I don't really mind heat and humidity, but it's September and it is not supposed to be over 90 degrees. My body is in full protest and refuses to even entertain the idea of riding. Instead, I've been doing farm stuff that involves the tractor doing all the work and fixing things that require a minimum of effort. 

Today's project was fixing some of the latches that hold the stall doors open. My horses are pastured 24/7, but always have access to a shed row barn. The barn doors are held open by latches that turned out to be a little too flimsy to hold up to the butt scratching of 1000 lb animals, so as they get broken I use baling twine to tie the doors open. But today seemed like a perfect day to fix them properly with sturdier latches, so I untied the baling twine and then realized I had forgotten a tool I needed in the garage. I left the unsecured doors to go root around for my tool, which took some time, and when I returned I found this:



The wind had blown the stall door shut, "trapping" this genius in the stall. Upon closer inspection, I found genius #2 behind him, also "trapped". 



Somehow, neither one of them managed to figure out that all they needed to do was push the door and it would open right up. They were both very grateful that I so heroically came to "free" them and rushed out as soon as I opened up the door. That's what they get for snooping around!


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